Do you a believer ?
Do you believe in coincidences ?
Do you ever feel like you're wanting something even many things so much, but you don't know how to achieve it ?
Do you ever feel so powerful, but in the same time, you're totally break down ?
Do you ever feel that you want to tell everybody about everything you have to tell, but you can't?
Full of questions in my head that i already know the answers.
But, still, i don't know what to do.
I can't even describe my feelings, my thoughts, in words.
It's just like, everything is empty.
Lost.
Blur.
I just don't know what to say.
It's like 5am in the morning, and i'm still awake, listening to my favorite song,
"A Drop In The Ocean" by Ron Rope.
Many things were going through in my life.
I can handle all of it, but i realized, the thing that i can't handle is myself.
My best enemy is MYSELF.
I am a different person, a totally different person from the previous me, i guess.
I even don't know what kind of person i've become.
I become so insecure with my world, i've become so quiet to some people but pretend like i'm telling whole of my life.
Until, they're think they know me so well, but they don't.
Not a thing!!
I miss my Grandma so much, she was died because of cancer, she's always be there for me, i miss the old me, i miss how i can laugh out loud, how i can enjoy my life and exited for the next day of it, i miss how can i love someone so much.
I can't feel anything! It's just empty.
But, i'm so grateful, to have so much best friends, that really care about me.
In the same time, i hate those who's faking with me!
Sometimes i feel, that everything i've done it's just wrong for some people.
But i don't care. I used to be care of people think, but now i'm not.
That's my weakness, i'm too much cared.
And that's it..
That's all i can say.
Maybe this is just a begining, a brand new fresh start, for the new me.
Well, i guess i have to figure out many things for my future, for getting back my happiness, my laugh and the most important thing, MY LIFE.
Love,
ADEL.
